My faith in God doesn't falter but my faith in people does.

I haven't posted much lately because I've been going through some things, mainly health- and weather-related.

Sometimes it's hard being the new kid, especially when things go wrong and people don't know you well. They tend to leap to conclusions that usually have more to do with their past experiences than anything you've done.

I guess it's hard for them too. People new to faith come in at all levels - for me, I'm pretty advanced in some areas, and I need way beyond basic remedial help in others. It's uneven, and I end up hearing the same things I already know over and over, while not getting to the parts I need to learn.

Right now I'm feeling worn, discouraged, and disappointed.

It's weird, though. I never blame God; God's the guy who gets me through. I don't really blame people either; they're doing the best they can.

I'm a category-buster in nearly every part of my life; I don't fit neatly into boxes tidily labeled with common preconceptions. I need my own box.

This means that I'm unusually useful in some ways...but it also means that I'm often overlooked or discarded.

I can't change the circumstances of my life and I can't change the way people react to me, but maybe I can change my mindset so that I don't expect people to see me clearly when they can't.

I don't know how to fix this in myself, but God probably knows.